Why children take the opposite?
Many parents complain that their children bring them the opposite in everything that they say rebut them or propose, children who want to get away with it at all costs, grumpy, fussy children or grumblers.
Sometimes this misunderstood power struggle creates additional family stress that leads to conflict and confrontation, if we want to avoid these negative dynamics we must understand why they behave in this way and how to act in each case or evolutionary time.
Why children are shown grumblers and challenging There are many reasons why our child may be systematically bringing us the contrary, we point 4 of them.
Of childhood and adolescence phases: cognitive and emotional development of our children goes through a series of stages or phases in which they are displayed whimsical, grumpy and easily irritable. They are stages that we know and properly handle to avoid the conflicts of this age festering and become chronic. Usual stubbornness and oppositional behavior between 2 and 4 years in the phase known tantrums. Again, about 7-9 years and, mostly, in adolescence we relive moments of self-assertion and protests.
Educational styles: the rigid, authoritarian and / or punitive parenting styles may have the opposite effect of what is intended. Children can turn against the limits, rules and authority figures. Relax our behavior, loosen to some demands, empathize with what they feel and want can help decrease the protests.
Learning negative behaviors: the best source of learning for a child is watching. Our children live permanently watching, testing their cue and behaviors they see and hear, whether appropriate or not. Under this premise we can understand how the demonstration of anger, bad faces or protests are learned behaviors. Attention how to proceed before them to avoid infecting them with our negativity.
Jealousy: Jealousy is another factor to consider because they can change the behavior of our children almost radically, a child who so far was a charmer suddenly becomes a moaner who leads the opposite at all times . It happens that probably needs to feel cared for and protest is the way they get our attention.
What if the child brings us the opposite
In short, the protests of our children are a way to grow, to make greater, of self-affirmation and build your own self. It is not really so bad to protest indicating who have other views or needs, provided that this is not a constant in our lives that hinder family life.
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The best we can do before a child wearing the opposing us is to maintain patience and not get into sterile discussions. Adapting to their age level, we will try to understand that disagreement exists in all areas of life, but we can not always get what we want.
Faced with constant and high intensity protests must seek specialized help, it is very likely that behind all these protests a much more serious problem is hidden or we are making mistakes in the way we educate.